Why won’t he call?

He’ll text, IM, and email, but why won’t he call? I don’t get it. Is he afraid that he’ll be rejected? How old is he…really? Come on buddy, step up!

How Not to Ask a Girl Out

What is it with guys who text, “what are you doing?” or, “what r u up 2?” Seriously, is he saying that he was bored, lonely, and feeling like some loving and is sending that same text to five or so girls (playing the numbers game) to see if he can get some last minute company?

Then, there’s the guy who says asks, “big plans for the weekend?” only to tell me how booked up he is when I delicately let him know that I have some openings… Whether this guy is asking the question through email, instant messenger, or text messaging, it just doesn’t quite reflect that he is a confident man.

Aren’t most of us looking for someone who is confident in his ability to ask us out in person or over the phone? But – we put up with this insecure behavior because we’d otherwise be sitting at home waiting for him to call or hanging with our single friends hoping to meet someone else who will likely text, email, or instant message their upcoming dinner or drinks invitation.

Is he Trying to Extend Date Planning?

Phillip and I went back and forth via text with many breaks on his end so that, while I could have known a time and place for our plans that night at 2, we didn’t get it all figured out until close to six. This same guy (professor, just bought his first car at 42 because he bicycles everywhere (seriously? in Austin?)) wanted me to drive to his place and pick him up there because he lived on the way to the gross Tex-Mex restaurant he decided we’d patronize.  I’m sorry, at 42, if he wants me to pick him up for our first Saturday night date and he won’t take a moment to phone to discuss the details… he can’t handle me. And, if he feels the need to text for hours because he doesn’t want to pick up the phone and get it all figured out, then he’s not for me.

James was similar but different because he didn’t start planning our date until 4 pm on the Saturday before Valentine’s Day. He texted to ask what I felt like eating. I said seafood/sushi sounded great. He followed up by asking where I wanted to go. I told him that I was open to options and that I looked forward to his picking me up at 7. He texted back and asked if we would need reservations to a hip, new sushi place. I wrote back and encouraged him to call to find out. When he texted back, he said it would be an hour wait and he couldn’t wait that long. I suggested an alternate place, even though I was so tired of texting, annoyed by his lack of planning, and on the cusp of bailing altogether. He agreed and asked if we could meet there (ugh! what’s with these guys?).  I found out later that he didn’t call to try to make reservations so there was a wait, which I endured alone, because he was over 20 minutes late. Needless to say, we haven’t been out since.


The only guy I can remember calling to ask me out in the last five years was Ben. Ben, as it so happened, was 10 years younger than me so was a proper member of the generation of texters and instant messengers. But, he put himself out there and called me to ask me out. I loved it and happily accepted each time! In the end, we weren’t right for each other, but I have fond memories of him, especially because he called! :-) See? I’m not that hard to please…

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