Shhh…. Don’t Say a Word (Yet)

Many women are plagued by attracting men who don’t want to share their feelings. I, on the other hand, am tormented by the exact opposite.  I cannot understand what compels men to overshare with me so soon. I’m certainly not one to gush to the person after a first date. So, I know that I’m not initiating all of this communication. At the same time, I’m not reciprocating. And, yet, they continue to share…

The Ideal Amount of Communication with Jennie from the Block

The card had a simple picture of a bear and a heart. On the outside, it read:

On Valentine’s Day, I want to tell you how I really feel…

I held my breath, waiting to discover what mushy, overly sentimental yuckiness would come next. I opened the card. It read:

I really feel fine, thanks.

Best card ever. I was delighted. He cooked me dinner that night, gave me a rose, a box of chocolates, and this card. We were only in college but he had already figured out one of those oh-so-important details about me. No need to be mushy. I was there, wasn’t I?

The Problem

Men like to share with me. A lot. And, I want someone who will maintain a little mystery. They can still look forward to seeing me but they will definitely have a better chance if they leave out some the sappy details in the beginning.  Just a few examples:

Joe and I met online. He lived in Houston and made the trek to Austin for our first date on a Saturday night. Overall, the date was a pretty good (for a first date) and I was looking forward to seeing him for brunch the next morning. When I called him at his hotel to arrange the details for brunch, I asked what he was doing. His voice was dreamy as he said:

I’ve been sitting here for the last hour, replaying in my mind this amazing first date I had last night….

Seriously? Can I say “gag me with a spoon?” Yes – it was a good first date. But, not great, not amazing! So much so soon.  Shhh…. keep that to yourself!

Jason and I had two dates. The first one was pretty good and the second one left me trying to convince myself that he deserved a third even though the second was so-so, at best. But, he was traveling so our third date would have to date. In the meantime, I learned that he was quite certain of his interest in our having a third date. As soon as he arrived somewhere on another side of the world, I received this email:

I once read that we have 60,000 thoughts in a day. You were 10,000 of mine today.

I read that and wondered if we were on the same date earlier that week. Or, maybe he meant to send that to someone else?

The Flip Side

In addition to all of this sharing that my gentleman suitors do, they also want reciprocity. They seek out affirmation that their intense feelings are reciprocated. And, this is where I draw the line and say,

You really want to know how I’m feeling?

I really feel fine, thanks.

I wish. But, a girl can dream!

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