The saying goes, boys will be boys, but can’t they just be normal sometimes? And, especially when they haven’t known someone for too long? I have decided that it is time for a list of general recurring pet peeves that must be addressed. Maybe, one day, someone committing these annoying, heinous errors will come across this list and change their ways. If not, hopefully it will bring a smile to at least one knowing person’s face. :-)

Patience is the Name of the Game (but he doesn’t know that)

For some reason, there seems to be an entire crop of gentlemen who believe that the way to a woman’s heart is to make sure she doesn’t forget about him. As such, we ladies end up with a continual string of communication that, for me, makes me feel pressured to respond. It also says that the person on the other end of the communication doesn’t realize that patience is the name of the game.

Here is a real life example. Please note that I was in the middle of things and didn’t want a constant string of texts so was waiting to reply.

TEXT #1:

Can I pencil something in on your schedule the following week? Lol!

Note to self – why is that funny?

Text #2:

Hope you have a good evening. I am going to finally relax a little. Busy Saturday. Talk to you later.

Text #3:

Good morning! Hope you have fun today.  Just got in and exhausted but going to the lake for a while. Talk to you soon.

What class taught that the best way to get a girl to respond and be happy about it is to just keep texting?

Lol! LOL. Lol :) LOL!!

It appears that many grown men never learned what LOL really means. It is an indication that the recipient of a text/email/etc. laughed out loud upon receipt. It is NOT an opportunity to say, “I’m so funny!! I’m so funny!” I think I’m hilarious so you should too!!” However, it seems that many a man seems to think that it is a way to keep things light and a number of them seem to use it in every single communication.

Inappropriate Conversation

It is amazing to me to discover that a number of men don’t think that any topic is off limits.  I am in shock by how crazy inappropriate some men can be and they don’t seem to understand why this might be a problem. But, this is best illustrated with some examples.

First, we will consider Seth, a gem who emailed me via an online dating website. We were exchanging our favorite places in our respective cities. Here is his unedited reply:

not a big fan of the bar scene here … always a sausage fest if you catch my drift. sausages that are really old, loud and obnoxious and are like white on rice the moment any females enter. yuck! but, for some reason i like to sit on a stool and have a few brews and just listen and watch from time to time.

i can drink bud, abita, steinlager til the sun goes down (and after) but never been into wine. a few glasses and the cheeks get all red and stuff. plus is wine supposed to turn you into a hornball?!? maybe i’m just not drinking the right stuff … heck, all i know is that there is white and red. so with wine i have to be careful, take it slow: red faced and pitched tent might not be the most attractive way to roll!

Let’s evaluate this for a moment. So – Seth is fully comfortable talking about men as meat and offering TMI on why wine might not be the optimal alcoholic beverage for him.  I, on the other hand, am not comfortable being on the receiving end of all of this information. Whatsoever. I never replied.

Our second example comes from Bill. Bill and I met through a non-profit we would be supporting. We spoke on the phone and decided to have dinner. The day we were planning to go to dinner, I texted him to let him know that I had eaten Mexican food for lunch since he had mentioned that as an option for our dinner.  His reply:

Are you saying you will be gassy? Lol!

I was shocked and appalled. I’ve never even met this guy and this is his reply? Maybe someone would think this was funny. Not me. And, the Lol!? Ugh! My response:

I can’t believe you just said that. You mentioned Mexican for dinner so I was giving you a head’s up.

He then said:

It was funny though. Mexican food makes most people that way. It’s a function of the body. That’s cool. I appreciate it. Plan B it is.

I couldn’t believe he was defending why it was okay to bring that up. And, I was really wondering if dinner was such a good idea with someone missing out on a little refinement. I cancelled.

Mr. Fix It

There is a phenomenon going around the male circles that, when they ask a woman about something going on in their lives and the woman replies, they think they should try to fix it by adding platitudes into the mix. So, if my cat hasn’t been feeling well and I’m worried about her, the idiot guy will respond by saying, “she’ll be okay.” How does he know? Some direct link and knowledge about her condition?

Or, if a girl is looking for a job, a guy might say, “the economy is getting better so I’m sure you’ll find something soon.”

What I understand the least is why, if he asks and she answers, he then feels the need to make her feel better. She didn’t ask him for advice. She didn’t complain in despair. He wanted to know. And she (or I) answered. Ugh!

I’v certainly been in situations when I was very upset and shared with someone who wanted to fix it. But, when you’re not dating, and you’re not sharing too much, it seems the guys are still so clueless that even a non-complaint becomes something they want to fix. And, in essence, they’re saying:

I’m not paying enough attention to you to have a clue as to how to make you feel better so I’m going to say something that makes me feel better. I didn’t notice that you weren’t complaining. You were just updating me. But, no one taught me that saying nothing is better than saying something that shows that I have no idea how to handle a woman.

What are your dating pet peeves? Have you found something intolerable and then determined that it became tolerable over time?

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